Leavings

The unthinkable has happened

Last night you told me that Rafique has left.

" Where"?

You could not tell.

"His Wife"? I asked.

You fumbled and mumbled.

You could not tell..

Then Farah, Rafique's sister came one day

She too said..

" You know Rafique has left."

" What happened", I asked?

"They were having problems", she said.

"And........",I opened questioned.

She looked here and there

But could not tell.

" You know, Rafique has left", "Rafique has left"

".... ..fique has left," " has left .. . " "has left.... left".

There was only one news everywhere that Rafique has left.

I was tired of the whole story.

Rafique was a good friend.

I worried about Reena.

No news of her what so ever.

I asked my husband.

He seemed to know but would not tell.

He fumbled and mumbled

And looked the other away.

Phone calls and hushed talks.

Eyes unable to meet.

Early departures and late arrivals.

Irate moods.

A gloom curtained my household.

fights started ,

lonely days ran ahead of me.

I couldn't understand the sudden change.

Reena would not answer my calls.

One day when I announced I would visit Reena

Sandip said she had left for her mother's.

It piqued me that no one would tell me anything more

Whatever had happened to Rafique....

I wanted to know more and more.

I called Reena...

Once ,twice, many times,

She would not answer.

Alone in the house one day

I suddenly was restless.

A voice inside me poked ,"Go, go",

I didn't know where...

I walked out of my door

Wild and disheveled,

Mad and in a trance

After ten days I went to Reena's.

Neighbours said,

I shouldn't go in.

I stood at her doorstep and called her.

She would not answer.

Eyes looked at me from all windows.

Everyone knew

We knew each other

Then why couldn't I be told?

With trembling hands and weak legs

I climbed up the one last step.

I wished for Sandeep's strong arms around me

Two days ago he had left on tour.

I hated to be alone .

God knows what had happened to my friend.

"Rafique has left", was all I knew.

I braced myself to ring the bell.

I heard the bell ring,

My mind swirling with all kinds of thoughts,

What could have happened to my friend.

I stood there for how long

I did not know.

My finger pressed on at the bell.

It rang and rang on .

All doors opened.

Eyes stared at me.

Mouths opened,

Some hands tried to pull me away.

I wouldn't go.

Soon other hands banged and

Many voices called for her to open the door.

I stood still waiting , I didn't know for how long.

Suddenly everything was quiet.

There were noises and voices from inside.

I waited with others outside,

Refusing to go.

All of a sudden the doors opened.

I stood and stared .

Turmoil in my heart.

Sweat dripping from my glands,

Hair disheveled,

Body quivering with unknown emotions

As Reena stared at me from behind Sandeep.

I could not speak any more.

Emptiness engulfed me.

Rafique had gone.

I turned,

Walked down the stairs.

All I wanted was to vanish

Into the wilderness of the world.

The next day

There was a new buzz

"Anna has left. .." ..."has left...." left"

"Anna has left...."

"Where, where", Sandip asked.

"You pushed her ,

Into the wilderness of the world",

Was all they said.